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June 2008

Dutch researchers on ‘love at first sight’

an love at first sight last a lifetime or does that only happen in the movies? It depends on how diligently the smitten couple work on their relationship after the smoke clears, says researcher Pieternel Dijkstra of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands.

In their study of 137 couples, Dr. Dijkstra and her research partner (and husband) Dick Barelds found no difference in commitment, intimacy or the quality of relationship between those who fell in love at first sight and those who were friends first.

In fact, the couples who were friends first also shared more personality traits, which is conducive to greater harmony in the long run. In other words, opposites do attract sometimes—but they may be less likely to stay together.

The Dutch researchers concede that their subject pool may have been unrepresentative. “I suspect that a lot of people who fell in love at first sight may already have divorced,” Dijkstra says.

Her suggestion is that initial infatuation is mostly chemical, and that’s not bad—just so long as the lovers commit to refueling the flame as time goes by.

Based on success stories from this study, it looks like there is one compatibility hurdle that cannot be overcome, even by the most passionate couples. Differences in “conscientiousness,” or taking responsibility, turned out to be a deal-breaker for couples.

As it happens, Dijkstra and her husband felt some early sparks but they became friends first. They’ve been together for ten years and married for five.

“When I first saw him, I looked in his eyes and thought, well I think I will have some type of relationship with this person,” Dijkstra says. “I don’t know if I can qualify this as love at first sight, but there was something.”


Dutch researchers on ‘love at first sight’ (click)

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