December 2006 Is your child a fussy eater? Listen up... Davis loves steamed carrots and knows how to feed himself. By Linda Piette, M.S., R.D. hile fussy eating is both common and normal in young children, some take it to extremes, eating only a few select foods. More typical are kids who will eat chicken nuggets in a restaurant but not at home, who eat fruits but not vegetables, who drink juice but not milk. Variations are endless depending on individual children, their personality and life experience as well as their age and stage of development. For young children, eating isn’t solely about food or nourishment. Meals are a setting for physical and social development. Kids learn whether eating is pleasant or unpleasant and the consequences of eating or not eating. They watch and listen and become quickly aware of the social rules and expectations surrounding food. They also develop their own likes and dislikes. How things have changed While the basics of eating remain the same, in recent years other factors have changed our relationship with food. Our grandmothers could not buy yogurt in plastic squeeze pouches or drive through a fast-food restaurant on the way to a soccer game. These new options change what, how and sometimes, why we eat—especially for kids. Improving mealtime dynamics Set limits in a clear, consistent, nice way. Rules are necessary, but make as few as possible to limit the number of battles, especially for toddlers. Be flexible. Young kids alternate between needing support and needing limits. To support independence, a good rule is to give children help only when they need it. Think about what else is happening in his or her life. Has her nap schedule changed? Is he more clingy than usual? Allowing kids to make food choices and express their likes and dislikes opens the door to challenges. If a five year old says “Yuk” and makes a face at every new food on his plate, a parent might make a rule: You can’t say you don’t like a food before you taste it. Practice patience. Even if you follow the rules and your child is still a picky eater, persevere. Don’t worry about what a child eats at each meal. Look at it over a day or a week. Hunger often drives a child to eat—and holding firm can help a child to recognize the subtle sensations of hunger rather than the social reactions their food refusals elicit. —L. P. It’s easy and understandable to worry so much about what a child eats that you forget about how. But part of the picky-eating solution is looking beyond the quality and quantity of the food a child eats to the dynamics around mealtime. Here are some ideas to help you avoid some common mealtime pitfalls: Offer small portions—because large portions don’t help underweight children eat more and, in fact, they seem to overwhelm all young children. Encouraging kids to ask for more food promotes speech and gives a child a sense of empowerment. Continual grazing usually means that children won’t be hungry for meals. When a child sips juice and other drinks all day, the odds are that he or she will be a poor eater. Even wholesome drinks add up. What’s too much? Each day, no more than 4–6 ounces of juice and 32 ounces of milk. Bribes, punishments and rewards may work in the short run, but in the long run they make things worse. Don’t use food as a reward or a punishment. And avoid saying, “If you eat your peas, you can have dessert.” This teaches a child that sweets are a reward for eating vegetables—not a great message. Long mealtimes may be a sign of putting too much energy in trying to get a young child to eat. Avoid coaxing or coddling. Put out all the food at once. Don’t let your child watch TV or play with toys at mealtime. Limit interruptions during the meal and put the food away after about 30 minutes. Throwing food is a sign that eating is over and if it happens, food should be removed in a matter-of-fact way. With young toddlers, you might say, “Bye, bye food” and take it away. This is not to punish but to give the message that if food is thrown, it goes away. Look for and accept early signs that your child is done eating to avoid thrown food. Getting upset over food refusals sends the message that “I won’t love you if you don’t eat your peas.” Kids need to eat for their own well-being, not to please or displease a parent. Help children learn to recognize their body signals of hunger and fullness and not confuse physiological sensations with emotional feelings. Offering new foods after a food is rejected rewards your child’s refusal. It teaches: If I say no, I might get something better. When your toddler refuses pancakes, don’t offer waffles. Give kids simple choices before a meal: Do you want cereal or waffles? Being firm about not providing new foods after a refusal will ultimately help your child be less fussy and eat more. —Adapted from the author’s book “Just Two More Bites” (Three Rivers Press). See We Recommend. Front Page Feature | Interchange | Research Review | Elder Issues | On the Job A Healthy You | We Recommend | Home