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| March 2009 |  |
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ranted, there are some requests we simply can’t turn down—at
work, at home and in our communities. But there are others that
we might (and should) refuse, if only we had the presence of mind
to do so clearly and politely, yet firmly.Learning how to say “no” can be important to your health. Stress associated with over-commitment can cause symptoms of depression and anxiety as well as physical problems such as insomnia, headaches, muscle  tension
and high blood pressure, according to a Taiwan study reported in
the journal Chronobiological International.“We need to have the wisdom to know what we can take on and what we can’t, and the courage to say no to excessive demands,” says Dr. Albert Yeung, director of primary care studies with the depression clinical and research program at Massachusetts General Hospital. He offers a few simple rules: NO EXCUSES. People realize that we all have our limits. You don’t have to explain why you’re saying no—but it’s helpful to have a response ready. BE HONEST. Stretching the truth will only increase the likelihood that others will see you as evasive or defensive about your decision. SUGGEST ALTERNATIVES. Give some thought to possible resources or individuals who might be able to fulfill the request in your place. ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER. If you have been put on the spot, offer to give your response soon—and follow through. LEARN SOME ALL-PURPOSE RESPONSES. Here are a few that may make it easier for you: “I’m sorry but I’ll have to say no.” “I wish I could, but right now I can’t take on anything else.” “I’m overbooked. Let me call you when I have some time.” “I have another commitment.” “I don’t have any more room on my calendar.” ”That’s not my strong suit.” “I need to focus on my family/my career right now.” “Let me suggest someone who might be better.” “I’m too busy now, but perhaps another time.” 
—Adapted from the newsletter Mind, Mood & Memory
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