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| January 2009 |  |
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orkers face competition from every direction these days. We have to
keep learning new skills, accept change as a given and roll with the
punches. As older workers retire and companies downsize, those who
remain must be more accountable.In this environment, a person’s emotional intelligence, or EQ, can be as important as his or her technical skills. Getting along with people, accepting feedback and staying cool under fire are all EQ issues, says Adele B. Lynn in her new book The EQ Interview (Amacom/Society for Human Resource Management). What EQ is not Emotional intelligence is often misunderstood, says EQ guru Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. It’s not “being nice.” It may, in fact, mean confronting people with a message they need to hear. Nor is it “letting it all hang out.” And the idea that it’s genetic or that women naturally have a higher EQ than men is also a misconception. People often equate EQ with social skills: how we relate to the outside world and to other people. But emotional intelligence also has to do with our internal world—the part of us that drives how we respond to the external world. Adele Lynn’s EQ model includes: self-awareness and self-control, empathy, social expertness, personal influence and mastery of purpose. And within each of these five areas, specific abilities—or competencies—emerge. Self-awareness and self-control This means understanding ourselves and our impact on others—and using that information to manage our emotions appropriately and productively. It involves a good understanding of (a) how our behavior affects others, (b) how our emotions affect our behavior and (c) what our skills, abilities, strengths and weaknesses really are. To assess your self-awareness and self-control, give some thought to these situations: When you did or said something that had a positive (or negative) impact on a coworker or customer. When someone interpreted something you said negatively even though you didn’t intend it that way. When you realized that you needed to adjust or modify your behavior. Empathy for others In Adele Lynn’s model, empathy is the ability to understand other people’s perspectives and is characterized by (a) respectful listening, (b) feeling the impact of our words and actions on others and (c) a desire to be helpful. To assess your capacity for empathy, consider these workplace situations: When you didn’t understand why someone was acting a certain way or taking a certain position. When a conversation did not go well. When you sensed something was bothering a coworker or that he or she was struggling. When you offered help to someone without being asked. When you did something outside your job description. When you resented helping someone at work. Social expertness This is the ability to build healthy relationships. It involves (a) creating social bonds with others, (b) valuing other people’s contributions to collaborative work, (c) the ability to resolve differences and conflicts and (d) the ability to understand and maneuver in an organization. To assess your social expertness, consider: Your relationships with your coworkers. When you were able to get something done at work because of a unique relationship with another person. When you “won someone over” at work. When you offered an opinion or idea and had nothing to gain from it. Personal influence Influencing others lies at the heart of many jobs. In today’s workplace we exercise influence on many levels and in all directions. Personal influence is the ability to lead and inspire. It involves (a) believing in our own skills and abilities, (b) acting decisively and taking responsibility for our actions, (c) setting goals and working toward them, (d) being optimistic and (e) adapting with flexibility to changing needs and circumstances. To assess your personal influence, give some thought to times at work: When you felt out of your “comfort zone.” When you interjected a differing point of view. When you created a positive work culture. When you took action and things didn’t work out. When your optimism was misplaced. When you had to quickly learn something new. Mastery of purpose Lynn defines this as the ability to bring authenticity to our lives and live out our own intentions and values. It means having a clearly defined purpose and values that serve as an internal compass which tells us what’s important and what types of actions and behaviors will support our purpose. Mastery of purpose and vision is the foundation on which emotional intelligence is based. It involves (a) understanding one’s life purpose, (b) taking actions toward that purpose and (c) living authentically in the sense that our purpose, values, actions and motives are all aligned. To assess your purpose and vision, give some thought to: When you were so involved in your work that time just flew by. How you chose your field of endeavor. What you like (and dislike) about your chosen field. When you found yourself in a values conflict. When you were in a situation at work where you felt that you compromised your beliefs or values. What you do to gain people’s trust. How you have honored the commitments you have made to others.  |
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