February 2009  Visiting a nursing home? Bring along a gift…but make it small. A visit by a grandchild—of any size—is usually welcomed. hether you visit a nursing home resident regularly or stop by once in a while, the question arises of whether to bring a gift. And, if so, what should that gift be? The answer to the first question is yes. Under normal circumstances, it’s good to arrive with something in your hands. It will please the person you’re visiting and it will be left behind as tangible proof that you were there. But don’t think of this as a costly obligation. The best gifts are small ones that won’t add to the clutter in a crowded room. Here are some suggestions from Anne Sharp in her book The Nursing Home Connection. THINK IN TERMS OF SINGLES. A pack of gum, a roll of mints. A magazine or a book. Reading material is a great gift that can be passed on for others to enjoy. Just avoid heavy volumes or thick hard-to-handle magazines if your loved one is frail. And if he or she is visually impaired, find something with large easy-to-read print. KEEP IT SMALL—something that fits into a pocket or a wallet like a school photo of your child or card with your name, phone numbers and e-mail address written clearly in your own handwriting. A single small photo of an event that just took place in your life can provide fuel for sharing and conversation. Photos are also a reminder to your loved one of the outside world. They’re visible proof of one’s connections and “belonging.” A small photo album can provide a link between the past and present. Just make sure that it will fit in a bathrobe pocket. Some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind Do... Label everything you bring to a nursing home resident: photographs, clothing, even toothbrushes. Express your appreciation to the aides who daily bathe, dress and feed your loved one. Your praise may provide a healthy high for nursing home employees who typically hear more complaints than compliments. Praise may also encourage the aide to be more responsive to your loved one. Write a letter if you’re unable to visit your friend or relative. Tuck a gift in the envelope: a photo, newspaper clipping, or a stamped, self-addressed card or envelope with a sheet of notepaper for an easier reply. If you are staying in touch with your loved one by telephone, try to call at a prearranged time. Don’t... Give gifts of money, jewelry or anything that requires surveillance or safekeeping. Be aware that many things get lost and very little is found. Forgetful people may misplace rings, necklaces, earrings and watches as well as dentures and glasses. Leave food in closets or drawers. Bring only what can be eaten in one feeding or stored in a tightly sealed container. Give pocketless clothing. A smock-type garment with Velcro or snap fronts is the easiest to get into and out of. Remember that when a nursing home resident wears personal clothing, laundering becomes the person’s responsibility. PRACTICAL ITEMS USED EVERY DAY. Nursing home residents can always use a new pen or pencil and some postage stamps. Other handy items include a small, inexpensive mirror to hang on the wall by the bed, a miniature hand mirror, and a new toothbrush every few months. LOOKING GOOD. The list of small, inexpensive, useful gifts for women is endless: for example, pure soaps, baby powder, body lotion, emory boards and hair ribbons or bows. Male residents also need personal grooming items such as hand cream, body lotion and aftershave products. GIFTS OF FOOD. This can be a quick and easy gift solution. Just be sure to check with the nursing home staff about any dietary restrictions before you bring food. If it’s okay, a tasty milk shake can be the perfect last-minute purchase: affordable, portable and sure to please a finicky appetite. For some residents, a jar of baby food may be welcomed. It requires no special storage, opens easily by hand, can be eaten in a single feeding and is nourishing and inexpensive. A GIFT THAT BECOMES A GAME. With a spiral notebook and soft-lead pencil in hand, you might encourage your loved one to play word-association games during your visit. Simple activities such as writing the names of family members can jog a person’s memory of past events and places for those who are having trouble with recall. The shared experience of planning a shopping trip or making up a grocery list can give you ideas for future gifts. HOBBY-RELATED GIFTS. Was your relative or friend a lifelong knitter? A ball of fleecy yarn can be wound and rewound to help keep her fingers agile. This activity also has a calming effect. Front Page Feature | Interchange | Research Review | Elder Issues | Parenting On the Job | We Recommend | A Healthy You | Home

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